Ebbing: Part II - Say Hello to Eddy
A reader responded to my “Ebb and Flow” piece a few days ago with the pointed and real question:
“So what if I’ve been ebbing since 2013?” The question made me realize that I didn’t take my ebbing analogy far enough.
Our rhythmic lives ebb and flow like tides in the oceans. While the flow and retreat of our own inner energy may not be as perfectly timed and predictable as tides, we can sense certain patterns and recognize when we are ebbing or flowing. But sometimes the ebb goes on longer than you’d like or expect – and the self-forgiveness of not being quite on top of your game turns to bitterness, despair and fear of never quite being able to get back in the flow.
Say Hello to Eddy.
We’ve all seen this in the waters of our lives – the circular, endless spinning current that can’t seem to re-join the main flow. An eddy is just that – a circular, whirlpool current of water that has split off from the main current. I like to think in simple terms that a Black Hole is the same concept – a circular, downward spiraling current of the universe. Both of them epitomize the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different outcome.
Some of us, while embracing the ebb, end up instead in a life sucking eddy and the normal tides that seem to continue to cycle for everyone else do nothing to push us back into the mainstream flow. And if you are in that eddy, you spin and spin, hoping that the next time you come around, that somehow you’ll get nudged out and re-join a more inspired journey – but it doesn’t happen. Insanity. Depression. Helplessness. These feelings start to seem like life sentences with no path to an exit.
I watched a kayaking video on “Eddy Turns” – a method for rejoining the main current. I am no kayaker – but the visual of the process was powerful and several aspects struck me immediately. First – it takes a lot of power and strength to get out of the eddy. Second, though counter-intuitive – you actually have to go against the spinning current in order to re-join the main flow. Third, the angle of attack is important in order to avoid re-entering the main current in an unstable position that can capsize you and force you under.
In our own lives sometimes we need to apply this method for eddy turns - brute strength, going against the current and a stable, angle of attack - to get ourselves truly flowing again. These aren’t actions that necessarily come easily to any of us. How do you muster up the strength you need when you feel like your reservoirs are empty from constantly treading water to just keep your head above the whirlpool that is trying to suck you down? And how do you go against the current – in effect going against everything you think defines you and what others expect of you? And how can you attack any challenge while remaining balanced and stable – the concept seems like an oxymoron.
I think strength can come from the internal resilience that we are all born with – that involuntary instinct to break through the surface and breathe. It’s there for us to tap into – we just need to start paddling and kicking with all our might – knowing that once we power through the initial obstacles, that the going will get easier.
Re-inventing a part of yourself can be a way to turn into the current and go against the norms that have previously established your daily motions. Changing the repetitive, endless loop by doing something totally different, totally opposite of “your norm” is scary and certainly disruptive – but that re-invention is what can lead to the greatest growth and get you moving forward again. Maybe its realizing you are in the wrong career, maybe it’s going back to school to pursue a new avenue of your education, maybe it’s moving from a lifestyle that you thought you could afford, but really would be better off without, or maybe it’s exploring a spiritual side of you that has been neglected for some time. It’s ironic indeed, but going against the flow is what ultimately gets you moving in the right direction again.
All out paddling and kicking while re-inventing yourself is disruptive and topsy turvy. A strong support network can help guide you toward the right angle of attack so that you stay balanced as you re-enter the rush of the main current. So don’t under-estimate the importance of reaching out for help from family and friends or seeking professional support as you navigate these scarier, Class VI waters. Professional help isn’t required for everyone – but you shouldn’t feel guilty or weaker in any way to seek out this option – consulting with a licensed doctor or therapist is a brave step in preparing for your exit from an eddy. You, and only you, can sense how powerful the circular current is that has you caught – and therefore, the level of help you need.
Our energy is constantly in motion – but recognizing what that actual motion is – an ebb, a flow or a circular spinning eddy – can help you focus on how to best help yourself.
And if you’ve gotten sucked into that exhausting whirlpool, use the guidance of an experienced kayaker to paddle hard and turn into the oncoming current with a stable angle of attack so that you can say…
“See ya Eddy!”
- Ewe Bee U
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